I don't know if you have ever lost someone very close and dear to you. There is really no adequate way to describe the clash of emotions. The trauma of a loss like this can tear at the very core of your being. You want to be left alone, but being alone with your thoughts is its own torment. At night you long for the temporary escape of sleep, which if found, plays the cruel hoax of letting you awaken for an instant as though all were normal only to have the gut-wrenching reality of loss engulf you again.
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