There is nothing I would trade for how I grew up and where we lived. It was the very beginning of so much that has shaped my life into what it is today. I was raised on a small, pig farm in rural Michigan. Life wasn't easy, and we had so very little, but there was an innocence, and a simplicity. People trusted each other, however naïve that may seem in today's world. When I moved away to Kentucky for college, my perspective of the world changed drastically! I was often taken advantage of for being so simple. People mocked my traditional, family roots, and cheated the old fashioned values relentlessly. I was not a believer yet, and so it wasn't long before I decided that I was not going to let anyone hurt me any more. Walls began to go up inside, and all around my heart to fend off future hurtful attacks.
Every time someone did or said something to me, against me, about me that attacked my upbringing, the pain was more than I knew what to do with. I never would treat another person this way, why did I have to endure such hurtful words and actions? Walls went up in the form of me distancing myself, isolating myself from contact with people; withdrawing further internally behind the walls to avoid interacting with people. This only lead to worse feelings. Feelings of anger, fear, panic, and paralysis. These feelings consumed my thoughts so much so that I began to realize I was trapped. There was no where I could go that I wouldn't somehow get hurt, or so I was convinced at the time. And, I plunged deep into the hopeless, endless abyss of suicidal thoughts. I quit going to work, stopped cleaning my apartment, stopped taking showers, quit doing dishes, ate everything in the apartment and just ordered delivery once or twice a day. Every day I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, or watching life completely pass me by outside the bedroom window; no one noticing, no one stopping in, but then - why would they? Hadn't I pushed everyone away? I never attempted to take my life, but I certainly prayed every day, begging God to take me away, to free me from myself.
One day, working upstream as God does in our lives, I saw a lady with a small dog that couldn't do anything on its own. I was motivated to try harder, to invest in something that would appreciate my care. I begged for my job back, cleaned my apartment, caught up bills, and laundry, and went to the pound and brought home my first puppy, Pepper. Having this dog required me to get my mind off myself. She needed walks, every day. There was a day I was walking her and I came across a club of model airplane flyers. A family there began to befriend me, and Pepper. Eventually, they shared the love of Christ with me, and I committed my life to Him, the Endless Hope. Surrendering all of my mess, all of my fears, and all of my hope to let Jesus live in and through me revealed my heart for what it was, deceitful and desperately sick in all of its ways (Jeremiah 17:9).
Those walls I had built were the consequences of sin, piles of rubble needing excavation and removal! If I expected to experience the abundant life Christ promised me, my part was to submit to His plans, His will, and His guidance to allow Him to remove these barriers and replace them with more of Him. He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30). Walls come down in two ways. Either, an external force reduces them to a pile of rubble, or, the one who built them takes them down from the inside! God makes this known uniquely to each person. As they seek His Kingdom first, He adds everything else they need (Matthew 6:33). When we finally submit ourselves completely to Him, He commands us to forget the past, and press on to the things before us (Philippians 3:13).
Because He loves us too much to leave us where He found us, He will enter into your life when you open the door of your heart to His knocking. As described in several of Pastor Cliff's messages, Jesus will come into the living room of your heart, then into the kitchen, and every room inside, going to each closet, each shelf, and every box on those shelves helping us remove the rubble and barriers of hurt, fear, panic, and anger that separate us from an abundant life lived with Him, and for Him. Your Creator knows the truest version of yourself. You may think you know yourself, but only He knows the perfect blueprint for how He designed you to live! That means, buried under this rubble are desires in your heart you have never even known before. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
How can we work with Jesus to sort through all of the boxes of rubble in our hearts? By abiding in Him through His word, for man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4). Consider how a tree grows, putting down roots in Him for nourishment to become established (Colossians 2:6). Stay rooted in Him for He nourishes from the Head of the body, right down to the joints and ligaments (Colossians 2:19). Isn't it interesting that Hebrews 4:12 refers to the word of God as being sharper than any two-edged sword, able to separate bone, ligaments and joints? This delineation is at the CELLULAR level, the basic building block of all living organisms! Selah! As you take His Word deep into your heart (Psalm 119:11) the increased growth He provides will burst forth through the walls of your heart into victory; because through Him we are MORE than conquerors (Romans 8:37). He will most assuredly raise you up out of the miry pit of destruction and set your feet on the Rock, making your steps secure (Psalm 40:2).
-In His grip together with you, Wendy Stark
One day, working upstream as God does in our lives, I saw a lady with a small dog that couldn't do anything on its own. I was motivated to try harder, to invest in something that would appreciate my care. I begged for my job back, cleaned my apartment, caught up bills, and laundry, and went to the pound and brought home my first puppy, Pepper. Having this dog required me to get my mind off myself. She needed walks, every day. There was a day I was walking her and I came across a club of model airplane flyers. A family there began to befriend me, and Pepper. Eventually, they shared the love of Christ with me, and I committed my life to Him, the Endless Hope. Surrendering all of my mess, all of my fears, and all of my hope to let Jesus live in and through me revealed my heart for what it was, deceitful and desperately sick in all of its ways (Jeremiah 17:9).
Those walls I had built were the consequences of sin, piles of rubble needing excavation and removal! If I expected to experience the abundant life Christ promised me, my part was to submit to His plans, His will, and His guidance to allow Him to remove these barriers and replace them with more of Him. He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30). Walls come down in two ways. Either, an external force reduces them to a pile of rubble, or, the one who built them takes them down from the inside! God makes this known uniquely to each person. As they seek His Kingdom first, He adds everything else they need (Matthew 6:33). When we finally submit ourselves completely to Him, He commands us to forget the past, and press on to the things before us (Philippians 3:13).
Because He loves us too much to leave us where He found us, He will enter into your life when you open the door of your heart to His knocking. As described in several of Pastor Cliff's messages, Jesus will come into the living room of your heart, then into the kitchen, and every room inside, going to each closet, each shelf, and every box on those shelves helping us remove the rubble and barriers of hurt, fear, panic, and anger that separate us from an abundant life lived with Him, and for Him. Your Creator knows the truest version of yourself. You may think you know yourself, but only He knows the perfect blueprint for how He designed you to live! That means, buried under this rubble are desires in your heart you have never even known before. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
How can we work with Jesus to sort through all of the boxes of rubble in our hearts? By abiding in Him through His word, for man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4). Consider how a tree grows, putting down roots in Him for nourishment to become established (Colossians 2:6). Stay rooted in Him for He nourishes from the Head of the body, right down to the joints and ligaments (Colossians 2:19). Isn't it interesting that Hebrews 4:12 refers to the word of God as being sharper than any two-edged sword, able to separate bone, ligaments and joints? This delineation is at the CELLULAR level, the basic building block of all living organisms! Selah! As you take His Word deep into your heart (Psalm 119:11) the increased growth He provides will burst forth through the walls of your heart into victory; because through Him we are MORE than conquerors (Romans 8:37). He will most assuredly raise you up out of the miry pit of destruction and set your feet on the Rock, making your steps secure (Psalm 40:2).
-In His grip together with you, Wendy Stark
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